Dear The Bridal Guru,

My now fiancée surprised me on our Caribbean vacation and asked me to marry him. I am beyond excited. But, I'm also scared. I have heard all kinds of stories and I've had all kinds of advice. I am so over-whelmed right now, that I don't know what to do first or what to do at all. Help!

Frozen in Fayetteville

Dear Frozen,

What a fabulous trip you had!! Congratulations on your engagement. It's going to be a fun time fo you, your fiancée and your family.

What do you? What do you do first? I recommend you and your fiancée first talk with each other in a relaxed, peaceful manner about what you both want for your wedding. Decide if you want a traditional, contemporary, large, small or medium wedding; where do you want to have the ceremony and reception; destination wedding or where you both live. These are all things to consider and affect other decisions later in the planning. Traditionally, the bride and her mother plan the wedding with the bride's parents paying for the festivities. Times have changed. Couples are older with good careers. This means many times, the couple is paying for a large portion to all of the wedding. The two of you need to determine how the budget is going to be divided. Do you want to hire a Wedding Consultant for one or two meetings or for the entire production? I strongly recommend doing so. A Wedding Consultant will save you stress and help you budget carefully. Your wedding consultant will greatly decrease the time needed to find competent businesses to hire for your wedding. They already know who to use and not use.

Once you two have established a budget and the number of guests, pick a date with alternate dates. Also pick your ceremony site and reception venue with alternates as well. If you are having an outdoor wedding, have a backup plan for inclement weather. Then secure your caterer and photographer as these are some of the first to get booked.

Set up a file or a binder with divisions for each company/vendor you hire plus additional tabs for the Wedding Day Schedule, the Wedding Party, the Budget and important notes. You can also use the handy planner in Premier Bride of Mississippi. Finally, narrow your list to three vendors in each category. You may not have to interview everyone on each list. Take my advice: If you find a vendor you really like and trust, and they have your wedding date available, sign the contract on the spot. Don't wait. If you do, particularly if this is a popular date and/or vendor, you may find them unavailable.

Good Luck and Best Wishes!

The Bridal Guru

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