Bonjour my pretties! How has your Monday treated you so far? And how was your weekend; was it me or was it a touch chillier than it has been of late? I nipped to the Fired Earth Factory sale to purchase some tiles for the new house and spent a bit of time in the garden snipping off old growth on my potted plants ready for the summer ahead. What were you lot up to?

This afternoon sees the second 'Ask Lolly' post of 2014 and I have a feeling that it's a dilemma that will resonate with a fair few of you out there. For those of you not 'au fait' with this particular post let me take a moment to explain the concept.

Essentially, once a month, I take a moment to try to solve the wedding trials and tribulations of you lovely lot. It could be anything - a plea for help with how to seat warring family members, a make-up dilemma or even a request for innovative wedding favour suggestions.

This is also an opportunity for you folks to weigh in with your thoughts and opinions too - after all we love to hear what you have to say on wedding matters and I'm sure there's more than one of you in a similar predicament.

So without further ado let's hear what our January bride in distress has to say. Take it away Scarlett...

I really really REALLY need some guidance.

Last year, I was asked to be the only bridesmaid for a girl that although I like very much, I don't really know that well and had only met a handful of times. I agreed to because she's lovely, and I felt that if she was asking me it was because she didn't have any close female friends or family and I could really do my best to make her day even more special.

The problem that I have now, is that I've just gotten engaged myself and we will be getting married a few months after her. However, I have a sister and more close friends than I can have as my bridesmaids but I can't tell you how terrible I would feel to be the only bridesmaid for someone whilst not asking her to be one of mine, particularly because we'll be planning our weddings at the same time.

How do I handle this horrific situation as I'm spending all my time worrying instead of enjoying being newly engaged?!

PLEASE HELP ME!!

Scarlett xx

First things first Scarlett, I want you to know that you're not alone. In fact I'm willing to bet my bottom dollar that a fair few brides reading this post will be nodding their heads in sympathy with you having been through the same mill themselves.

First things first, you don't mention in your email where you met the girl that has asked you to be a bridesmaid - let's call her 'Polly' for now. Is she a casual acquaintance? A friend of a friend? A distant family member? How likely is it that you'll see her regularly after your respective wedding days?

I ask because I don't want you to make a decision motivated by guilt now that you may come to regret in years to come. If I may be so bold, I'm inclined to assume several things from your letter; firstly that you don't want her to be a bridesmaid and secondly this has little to do with any financial reasons and rather more to do with the fact that there are many other girlies that are closer to your heart. And lastly the only reason you've stopped to pause now is because you don't want to hurt her feelings...

Before we go any further I want to say that you should in no way feel terrible about not asking 'Polly' to be a bridesmaid. Yes she may have asked you to be an important part of her big day and yes you may be as proud as punch to play such a integral supporting role but that does not in any way mean that you are obliged to return the favour. Now is the time to stop feeling guilty.

If if helps then let me share my personal experience with you; for my own big day I chose to have just three bridesmaids (my sisters and sister-in-law) standing next to me at the top of the aisle despite having a fairly hefty female friendship circle to pick from. Had the boy and I been blessed with an unlimited wedding budget then it might have been a different story. Do you know that not one of my close girl friends took offence at this decision; they were thrilled to simply be present on one of the most important days of my life irrespective of whether they were a bridesmaid or not. 'Polly' may very well feel the same...

As a way of including the aforementioned girls that weren't bridesmaids on my own big day, I created wedding roles for them instead. From wedding readings to witnesses to hen do organisers to confetti queens there was something for each and every one of them. Perhaps this is something you could give to Polly to do instead as a way of making her feel involved?

If I'm being uber blunt then I'll ask you this final question. What's the likelihood that she'll be a major and valued part of your life after the big day is over? Will it be a lifelong regret if she's not there at your side or actually after this initial bout of guilt subsides will it be no more than a passing thought that you'll forget about over time?

Follow your heart and trust your gut. You won't be wrong. Promise.

Remember guys and gals if you've got a dilemma of your own that you feel you need help solving then drop me an email at [email protected]

Remember a problem shared is a problem halved...

All my love Lolly xxx