Mariage - Stone Fox Bride

Stone Fox Bride

This morning I called a restaurant and asked if I could get a 6 PM rez tonight. "We're booked," said the voice on the other end of the line. "You sure?" I said. "There's only three of us. And two of us are 3 and 6." All of the sudden, the voice sounded sad. "That changes everything," she said. "Of course we can accommodate." And just like that, the rez was set. I hadn't intended on playing the "I'm a single mom on Mothers Day" card when I called, and I didn't even realize that I was when I was doing it — but afterwards, it occurred to me that I did, and it was a first. I spent last Mother's Day cozily ensconced within my family of four. I remember sitting around the table reading the paper, drinking coffee, a pot of pink roses, Bob Dylan blaring, but six days later, on May 19th, the whole thing — the marriage, the family, the four of us — fell apart. It might sound strange for a woman who runs a wedding company to speak publicly about the fact that she is no longer married, and believe me — I've gone back and forth about it for a year — but the whole reason I founded SFB was to disrupt an antiquated industry built on the BS "happily ever after" fantasy and inject it with a heaping dose of radical candor, so here goes: I did not have a particularly healthy or happy marriage (or new age Goop-style separation for that matter), but every story starts in hindsight and love is love is love, bloody, broken, blooming, and now I’m sitting in an apartment full of flowers I bought for myself and “I love you Momy” cards drawn in crayon on the fridge and life, that cruel beautiful bitch, season after season, continues to surprise me. "Table for three, please" on Mothers Day was not part of the plan when I walked down the aisle in 2010, but it's where I've landed, and it's okay. And when it comes to weddings: the truth is, I need them now more then ever. Proposal stories, sparkly stones, petal-strewn meadows, best friends in beautiful dresses... I still believe these are the things dreams are made of. But love, she is a wild animal. I need to spend some time walking side-by-side with her, deep in the woods, making sense, making peace....

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