She Asked A Tough Question About Religion And Dating -- And Got A Tougher Answer

She Asked A Tough Question About Religion And Dating -- And Got A Tougher Answer



Renee, age 48, is contemplating the idea of leaving her place of worship. She and her 14-year-old daughter are happy at their current church, a place where Renee believes they will continue to grow spiritually. Her new fiancé, however, would like them to attend his congregation as a family.

"Should I follow the lead of my fiancé, where he wants me to be with him and bring my daughter there?" Renee asks in the above video. "Or should I follow the lead of my heart, where I feel that my daughter and I can both grow spiritually?"

To gain some perspective, she sits down with spiritual life coach Iyanla Vanzant on the new series "Help Desk." "I was always under the impression that the purpose of church was fellowship and the feeding of your soul," Iyanla says. "So where does your soul get fed?

Sensing that Renee is questioning something much bigger, Iyanla gets straight to the point.

"This man that you've been dating for two years, engaged to for a year," Iyanla says. "When you look him in the eyes, when you stand in his presence and his energy -- are you equally yolked mentally, emotionally, spiritually, in such a way that you're willing to commit to spend the rest of your life with him? Are you equally yolked?"

Renee does not answer.

"That would be a no," Iyanla says. "That's the real question. You can make this about church if you want to, but you better get down up in that real issue. Which is, when I look at this man -- that I'm committing to spending the rest of my life with -- when I look at him and when I examine us mentally, emotionally, spiritually, are we equally yolked? That's the question you have to answer, and you don't have to do it on national television."

"This ain't about church," Iyanla says.

"Help Desk" airs Sundays at noon ET on OWN.

"I agree," Renee says.

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