My future husband and I were recently trying to pare down the guest list again (for the 3000th time) and decided to eliminate some non-essential people that we feel have acted homophobic in the past. I like these people, but I don't want any guest at my wedding to feel uncomfortable because some drunk guy in the corner is having a hard time with LGBTQ people dancing and making merriment together.

It's not that I think these bad-belief people would cause a scene, but I would be heartbroken if one of them said something as a side comment that was overheard by one of my friends, or if I overheard something like that - because I would be angry, and sad, and possibly throwing things.

So the homophobic-tendency people are off the list, and I can live with that - but what if this happens anyway, because I missed someone on the list with views I didn't know about?

I know I can't control the moral judgements of all of my guests, but I am not sure what to do if this situation arises at the wedding. I hope I am being anxious for no reason, but I guess I want to have a plan if this really happens. Ordinarily, when I hear someone say something homophobic, I respond. I get that I will likely be too busy to notice, but it would crush me to hear about it later.

Has anyone else ever had a problem like this happen to them? How did you handle it? Do you have family that is prejudiced, and how did you handle knowing about their issues, and reconciling that with your wedding guests? - delicateflower

This is an important issue - we all want ALL our guests to feel comfortable, avoid awkwardness, and enjoy the wedding. Previously, we've addressed the concept of actively supporting marriage equality at your wedding. But now it's time to have a conversation about curbing homophobic discussions amongst your guests.

We decided to ask two of the Offbeat Bride Tribe's moderators to weigh in. First let's hear from moderator SparksinKY who has some awesome suggestions from an ally perspective...

I would say at least a quarter of my family coming are anti-gay rights. They will see some of my friends and family with their same-sex partners, but I also expect that they will have the tact not to say anything about it. At some point, you may just have to let go of worrying about who will end up offending whom and protecting guests from other guests.

I wrote several months ago about how I was going to use this idea next to a guest book. I will write a similar gay marriage support letter, place it next to the guestbook, and then have a sheet for them to add their names as a petition. That way they can choose to do it or not. To avoid making the conservatives feel unwelcome, I will probably not make a big announcement about it. Just place it there and let people either acknowledge it on their own or not.

So maybe if you make a declaration in some way about it at your wedding, it will serve as a point to these guests that any negative comments will not be received kindly. - SparksinKY

Now here's our moderator AnotherMystery (author of our Dress shopping and gender bending: why I'm wearing a suit and a veil post) to give us an LGBT perspective...

First of all, thank you for being such a fabulous ally! Us queer folk face hurtful comments (and worse) all the time, and I can't tell you how valuable it is to have friends like you who aren't afraid to speak out on our behalf.

There are plenty of things you can do to make it clear to all your guests that your wedding is a queer friendly event, The posts SparksinKy linked to give some great ideas. Most people will get the message, and keep their homophobic beliefs to themselves.

However, you should resign yourself to the possibility that there might still be someone who says something offensive to someone, and the best advice I can give is to let it go.

I've been on the receiving end of those unsavory comments (even at friend's weddings), and I really think your LGBT friends will just appreciate what a great ally you already are, and they know that your guests views are not your views. - AnotherMystery

Declarations in your vows? Mentions of marriage equality on your wedsite? Asking a cousin to rein in your homophobic aunt? What ways are you dealing with possible awkwardness at your event?